Decoding Guys!!

‘GUYS’. They are the sole reason for a girl’s angst. You can never understand them. Even after all these millennia of co-existence, the male species remain alien to the female species. The much clichéd ‘Men are from Mars and women are from Venus” seems so true. I am sure all the guys must be thinking the same about their female counterparts. But believe me, women are easier to understand. If you still disagree, let me explain.

Guys can never think beyond their playstations or iphones. They use the phone to play games, schedule meetings, to set reminders, surf the net, to navigate unknown roads, to receive mails and to listen to music. But they forget that, essentially the device was invented to make a phone call. The much elusive phone call never comes through. Poor you, keep staring at your mobile’s screen once every thirty seconds, even though it is not on silent mode. After an endless wait and still hoping he might call you, you send a message “I am missing you. Can’t stop thinking of you. Am eagerly waiting to meet you for a coffee at 4. I want to hold hands, sip coffee, look into your eyes and spend a romantic evening with you. Love you a lot.” The reply you get is “C U @ 4”. The whole effort of being romantic and expressing your feelings just goes down the drain. No acknowledgement is given to your feelings.

If you call up a guy and ask him “Can you do me a favour?” The reply would be “No. I am busy right now. I will talk to you later.” He doesn’t even bother to ask you what you need. He has no time for your needs. Things get worse when he is in front of the television watching a cricket match. Whatever you ask or talk his reply will only be a mumble. “Uh-oh”, “hmm”, “ya” etc. All of which are non-committal and monosyllabic. And it’s not even a live match, its yesterday’s match highlights that he is watching. Guys hate shopping, cleaning, dusting, driving etc. In fact they hate everything that is purposeful. If you remind him of his piling laundry, then you are nagging and always finding fault.  If you ask an innocent question like “What are your plans for today?” he will say “Nothing”. Now if you suggest a movie or dinner, he will do a complete one-eighty degree turn and say that he has an important meeting to attend. Whatever you have to say is trivial, more trivial than the daily horoscope. Where as what he has to say is more important than the economic meltdown!

You wear a new dress to catch his attention. You twirl and pirouette in front him trying to make him look up from his laptop. You even go around him in circles, making a complete fool of yourself. But he doesn’t notice. You try putting it across in words that you wore a new dress, “Nice” he says, immersing himself into his laptop again. The best response comes when you say “I have to tell you something, it’s important and can’t wait” with a very serious expression. He suddenly leaves all his work, rushes to your side, holds you tenderly and says “Are you pregnant? Did you meet the doctor? What do you want to do?”  Even as you are waiting to clarify that you are not pregnant but want to discuss something else, he racks his brains, looks puzzled and says “Didn’t we use protection last night?”. You can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all!   

Possibly similar Articles: